Quiet is Violent

Shattered glass Surrounding me Please go away Or I will let you down I will hurt you. I am ill and my head Is full of broken thoughts That I cannot repair. You have become Someone different Would you like to have My whole empire of dust? Focusing on the pain, I am unable To hear you. So, do like everybody else: Go away They always do in the end. Beneath these tired eyes The feelings are fading away You are not what you Used to be. I am not Myself lately Will you go away in the end? Will you let me down? Go away Let me down Hurt me Before I hurt you.

I've searched and fought For more years than I can tell I've helped and healed I've cured, I've fixed With my wings I protected With my tears I offered relief I might have seemed cold It was the way I had found To take and bear their pain Without breaking myself to pieces... The sun doesn't heal anymore Its crimson color hurts It's hurting the cool of my eyes Yet I've made it out alive I've been strong Standing tall against the disasters I took all their pain, swallowed everything up I nearly destroyed myself All these fights have drained my strength Now I am sick and tired This feeling is spreading like a cancer I am not useful anymore The blood coming out of my wounds won't stop flowing Like a stream of helpless desperation But they still wanted to make me look fine In one last attempt to remember, They put a smile on my face But I know they won't recall all that was said and done I shall fall into an empt

I’m breathing out I’m bleeding out I’d rather tear myself apart Than bring you down When the skies turn grey And the screams are louder I found out my heart is barely breathing And I am still bleeding Falling apart Cracking and shaking You look, but I guess you can’t see Telling me to keep going Do you think it's easy to stay strong? I hold it all tightly, bury all my sins Close my eyes, swallow the pain And I breathe in And I bleed out For you. Because the last thing I’d do Is to let you down So I break and fall in the silence And pick up the pieces that fell apart And I stay strong I take it all and put it back together I mend the pieces. Even with walls turning to dust And clocks going backwards I breathe and bleed I bleed you for you But I wonder Would you bleed for me?

Every single drop of rain Falling from the Sky Seems like a tear The clouds are getting darker, rising and rising Bluer and bluer With crimson eyes and voiceless words I beg “Let it go, just let it go of me” As all the sanity has left my mind My sorrow is wrapped around me with a burning chain Like an anchor I begin to drown I feel the end - coming for me As songs turn to noisy whispers And happy days fade away from the memory Redemption, your embrace never looked so easeful Your arms tightly around me, wipe away the pain The weight of the world Is not on my shoulders anymore Enclosed by oblivion, everything is evanescent I am lifted and it feels right Carried away by the blowing cold wind Disappearing into the clouds I fade away. - Sadness in Three Acts

Heaven forgive me for my sins For all the hidden truths For all the lies I have told For the desperate songs I sang With the broken strings of my weak heart I am a sad storyteller Sharing secrets with the moon and stars The humans don’t like my stories anymore Because they are so painful and sad and always end the same But all the secrets and revelations and stories Came from my disturbed nights I believe there’s something alive in my dreams Weaving sad words that make me terrified. There is something alive in my dreams It holds my name and owns my mind My dreams have been worrying me Scares me the idea of closing my eyes Am I the only one that hears the bloody voices? What’s there in my head? It stares, and is trying to take over me I am scared What’s in my head? - Sadness in three acts

I hear sirens – screaming in the distance I watch as the waves break against my fortress I feel them slowing falling apart, crumbling I’ve got scars all over my body A real proof I’ve fought with all my strength I have stood tall And it has proved not to be enough Without an anchor to hold me forth I begin to sink White foam surrounding me Shaken and shattered But it seems right The ocean calls my name Claiming me as its belongs These wings were meant to burn This heart was meant to beat – underwater The ocean calls my name And for a second, I don’t feel lost anymore Buried on dirt, rooting among the tress After years of emptiness I now realize It was never my home But into the deep blue and endless ocean I feel welcome Where I will cry no more Where they will hurt me no more I shall not swim I will just sink Slowly and peacefully Let me sink. - Sadness in three acts

The devil on my shoulder Says he is proud of me For all the punishments I’ve taken For all the poisons I’ve drunk For making my soul believe I am miserable. Well, what should I do? There is an enemy inside me There is a monster in my head And all they do is call me “insane” I wish I could see through All the darkness that is surrounding me And the fog that won’t leave my eyes But I am not like you Can’t you see? I am fighting a battle with an army of dust Which is going to be all that will remain in the end So, just let me disappear in the shadows Carried away in the cold of the abandon I shall go For you can’t hold on me anymore It is tough now, but soon will be over And silence will be comforting And then maybe you will see I am not like you.

The speed of hate It comes forth and goes away Kicking and hitting Bouncing on the walls Yelling at the doors Claiming its space Rage fills in the void Inside of me Before I had found a feeling There were scars and pain Humiliation and rejection Overwhelming and overflowing But I am not blind anymore It is scratching and hurting on the inside I’ve tried to keep quiet But this anger I cannot control anymore When I open up my mouth I can’t help but scream and shout Driven by this fire on my lungs The smoke is poisoning, flames on my throat Escaping as dangerous and hot words I should've kept the silent But there is nothing holding me anymore Because I've burned the binding ties And I will tear down the bridges That link me to this world Dancing upon the ashes of dead dreams Inhaling the smoke of the restless I will burn it all down For the rage inside me is great And I don't wanna face Another day anymore.

The day becomes darker The moon is pale Its light makes everything huge and frightening And as every second passes by Life lost the color and pleasure right before my eyes The silence settled inside my body Leaving no room for thoughts or feelings This must be the reason why Everything I touch slowly fades away I am unable to see on my own But the shadows surrounding me gave me a gift A white mask that blocks everything I do not suffer anymore I do not see light and bright colors anymore What a gift – what a curse! Have I become blind? Has this loneliness grown so strong that won't let me think by myself? I can’t see what’s right in front of me In the path of my former self I walk Unsure where to go or what to do You left me without realizing how lost I was And I had no other choice but grope in the dark Maybe if I get some light This loneliness will make some sense Maybe if you light up the candles Your walking away will make some sense.

When love becomes hate When passions turns to revenge When paradise is empty And heaven burns like hell When the reason for your joy Is the very reason for your pain When living is unbearable And sleeping is disturbing When forever becomes a monster That chases you down tirelessly and Take away what matters the most and Hold you tight as you see what you love Slowly fades away Dreams crumbling to your feet And disappearing into the hollow dark Offering you anything but solace Because you are doomed When you want to die but your eyes don’t close When the peace of silence is denied each time And you wander alone with all the voices Screaming so loud in your head And there is nowhere to go No home When death claims for your soul but You no longer have one You just run away from everything As a desperate ghost without peace With an injured heart that beats Like a hammer in your head.

My words are my weapon And with them I fight Against the world With words I reach you I fly through the distance Running with the wind Deep in places I’ve never seen before With words I reach you I touch your face And whisper to you a sweet goodnight And I stay next to you As you smile for me Fighting against the odds With those words I know I can All my secrets are carved In the tip of the pencil And with that I touch you I write to reach you.

Sleep has eluded me so far. Again. My brain won't stop talking to itself and I can't close my eyes and just pretend to ignore the voices in my head. My thoughts are scaring me lately. I feel like I'm drowning  drowning in my own mind. And there's also my stained face with tears... I don't wanna think anymore. I don't wanna wake up anymore. Because when I'm sleeping I'm not thinking and this is great. But when I wake up, it's just like a reverse nightmare. And there's nothing I can do to about it. Or is there? Stop this voices in my head. Please. They are killing me. " You are not good enough. You are stupid. You are weak. You will never heal. The blood will never stop spilling through your cuts. They will give up on you. Soon, they all will give up on you and you will be alone again. " They are killing me. Assumptions, doubts, regrets. It seems like I can't find a way to live like I should. And I get depressed because I

Imprisoned by time Ghosts of wrong choices Past mistakes Haunting and tormenting the dreams This lonely and broken soul Will find no relief No peace An intense kind of pain As deep as the blue ocean. Bury me in this sadness! And cover the tracks I am suffocating, this atmosphere is toxic I will be swallowed By the deep gray sky I am the wandering shadow Who was left behind I am the one that will be gone Swallowed by the deep grey sky.

All I want to do Is rip your skin off your bones I hate you I will make you feel my pain The horror and endless suffering It will be on you now All this stupid ignorance is making me sick I can’t wait anymore You will pay the price Oh my dear, come closer You are already dead Buried in pride and arrogance But I will make you get what you deserve With these burning hands and blinding hate Come closer Yesterday is gone and there is no tomorrow I see the fear in your eyes Confess! Get down on your knees and beg Beg for your stupid and miserable life I wanna see you crying in regret The shadow of what you used to be Will be always by my side But you won’t blasphemy anymore Your blood and bones are mine I fled away from the hospital You won’t hurt me anymore.

Are nightmares on the list of your problems? Oh they should be It has only begun But it is going to get worse Refusing to close your eyes? You can’t stay awaken forever Pray for the silence The shadows will swallow you Are you able to face the enemy? Through the eyes of hell you can see The devil dancing around you This place is evil Are you scared? It is not so bad – yet Is there a solution? "It is just a nightmare!" There is blood on your mouth Bruises on your body Why do you smile? It doesn’t end When you open your eyes.

Don’t fear the night I’ll be holding your hands all the time And catching all your velvet tears We can face the dark together I’m here by your side, don’t you cry There is nothing left for us here They are already dead And we can go on Follow me through the night Stay by my side I will bring the light back to your eyes Don’t look back It will all be over tonight Sing with me Follow me through the night.