Quiet is Violent

Chon opens his eyes before the alarm clock goes of. It is warm and comfortable in the bed, and part of him wants him to tuck himself under the blankets more, to sleep on just a few more minutes. But he knows he can't do that. He gets up and stretches, checking the time: 2:45 am. He's up fifteen minutes earlier, like always. He considers not putting the alarm clock on anymore, for he never needs it to wake up. But it's better to leave it there, just in case. His slippers are on the side of the bed. He puts them on and goes to the bathroom. The lights are kept off, he lets the water flows a bit to warm up, and then washes his face and brushes his teeth. Then he opens the wardrobe in the bedroom. It is not hard to choose an outfit - his clothes are all the same. He picks the gray plain t shirt, black jeans, equally black sneakers and a red cap with the initials M. D. A. written on it. Once he's dressed, it is time for breakfast. The kitchen is small but pr

I sip my coffee as I wait for my profiteroles to arrive. I have been waiting for them more than I judge necessary, but I don’t feel like complaining or being bitter today. The day is being nice and I don’t want to ruin it. I am in a small coffee shop that I discovered in one of my many walks through the city. I was told the little and hidden places are the best ones, and I agree with that. Except when they take forever to bring your food. The profiteroles finally arrive, the apologetic face of the waiter instantly fading away as soon as he sees my smile. Don’t get used to it, friend. It is not a custom of mine to smile at strangers. Unless they bring me food. I eat slowly, appreciating their flavor and the warmth of the coffee. It is black and bitter, the way I like it. The small coffee place is located in a street with a funny name not so far from downtown. I don’t think many people know this place. The advertisement is not very flashy, you would only find it if you knew

I stare at the tube in silence. I've been looking at it for a few minutes now and it has been the same thing – red fluids floating in the black tube, but not leaking out of it. I wished I could get closer to take a look, but the heat emanating from it is too strong. I can only observe from a distance. I have the theory that the light in there is somehow linked to the white cable on the floor and goes up to a hole in the wall. I don't know where it goes after the wall; maybe to a gigantic generator or another instrument that might give the things inside the tube life. But well, since I'm pretty sure nothing will happen, I leave the big room that is used for storing all sorts of interesting and weird things. There's something hanging from one of the white walls. I don't know what it is. I used to look at it, but it does not move. I think it is made of silver, but I can't be sure. It is actually a good thing that it does not move because, whenever I look

Sometimes, laying on the floor in the comfort of my house, when the evening sun starts to disappear into the horizon and the night chill comes to fill the air, I wonder what else is there to be seen. I wonder what is the world like on the other side, with its different people and food and colors. I hear the Lord approaching. It is good when he comes and talks to me. I know he appreciates me and enjoys my presence, but what I really like is when he gives me permission to leave the house. It is when the adventure begin. I run through all the places that are known to me, places I used to visit all the time in the past, and I feel like I own the streets. The wind blows in my face and I feel light and free. Every night, running wildly, there is no better feeling. And there are so many things to see! Even though I go to the same places, I always find something different to appreciate and discover new things. There are mysteries behind every corner and exciting stories in

I opened my eyes slowly. I tried to breathe and it felt like my lungs were going to collapse. Pain was all over my body and it was impossible to move. I could see I was laying in a room. It was cold, a faint light would come through an opening in the only visible window. I was right in the middle of the little room. On my right side there was a table and a wooden chair. On the far end of the room, to my left, a door. I was having difficulty remembering the last events. I didn’t know how I got there. In my head, everything was messy and there was a fog of doubt covering everything. I closed my eyes and tried to focus. I tried to remember.  I was running through the building on fire. Luna was by my side, making noises that indicated we were didn’t have much time. Everything around us was falling apart, the fire licking and taking over the whole place. Black smoke was covering my view and invading my nostrils, making it hard to breathe. A gigantic wooden door feel

My body is on fire My skin is red and wounded And everyone that tries to approach me Gets burned My mind is out of control It is screaming at me so loud Doesn’t give me a moment of peace I slash myself with a whip In an attempt to take control again In a desperate try To make the thoughts go away But the pain has no effect on my body anymore Nothing is alright Nothing is working anymore I’d do anything to stop feeling the way I do But I guess there is just tragedy in my veins Dark predictions instead of human blood I will never heal I will never be ok again It is getting harder and harder to breathe As the waves of desolation keep crashing around me Please, tie my hands right now Before they get Out of control again My hands are getting Out of control Again.

Sometimes I wonder Just how much could change in only a couple of weeks And how the hell it got to be the way it is now Do you ever think about the times we shared? Looking back on all of those nights I took for granted And all of the memories we didn't share Makes me realize that I only have myself to blame And I'm sorry that I ever made you feel this way (It is my fault you feel this way). I just wish I could make you happy one last time And I can't believe that I ever made you feel this way before (It is my fault you feel this way). I think some words can never be unspoken I guess some wounds were never meant to heal All that is left of us is a broken family and a heart that will not heal I can no longer remember how it feels to hold you in my arms The way it felt when I would have you close to me And I would know that everything was okay As long as your were here with me But you are not here with me And we've both gotten a broken heart I

I hear the cry Of the black birds in the distance Today it is going to rain Today sad drops will fall Over sad people with broken hearts The clouds are getting darker And thunders are louder The heartless wind blows The sky cries as everybody runs Trying to find a shelter from such odd weather Today it is going to be cold And the noise will be replaced With sweet silence of relief They will notice their eyes Shining brighter than before They will see the bodies collapsing Lying lifeless on the floor As they have already done before The sky's getting darker It is time to go I will gaze back at the clouds And let the torment take me Today an angel is going to die again

I’ve got a different story That has nothing to do what They’ve told you about her. In the end she kills herself And nobody knows why Except from her and myself In the end, she dies Because the voices wouldn’t stop screaming The ghosts wouldn’t stop coming The bad memories made the days unbearable And nightmares made the nights frightful. There is no happy ending And nobody is safe From the thoughts that storm the fragile heads Of people who think they’re in control. Nobody noticed what was happening Nobody remembered what she had gone through She was lost and lonely Afraid of collapsing again So she took some pills Believing they could make her fly They could make her like the moon Shining even in the darkest nights Nightlock! Nightlock! Nightlock! In the end she kills herself And I am the only one who knows why.

She was a fallen angel Corrupted by sin Trapped in the human condition A broken soul with a beating heart “She will never heal” I don’t believe them I refuse to drown in the grace of ignorance. I am covered with scars But I won’t be fooled like them Forever with the voices in my head Telling me it’s the right thing to do. Black tears of despair Dripping from my face And staining my once pure and white skin But I don’t believe them I know I’m still fine and She is the one She is damaged but I will try to fix her Holding her in my arms Feeling the heartbeat so close to my empty chest. Maybe this will help me as well. Maybe her passionate red eyes Will melt the coldness of mine. And then she could help me Learn how to breathe again Learn how to live again If I get to save her, I might find a way to save myself.

The water storms The inside of me It washes away the pain And for a moment I Forget my mistakes And I Can close my eyes to rest again The thunder cracks in the sky are so loud that I can barely hear my thoughts Oh, I don’t wanna hear my thoughts I wanna listen to the windy storm And wait in silence for the blizzard As I lay on the top of this cliff I am safe up here The velvet drops will clean up my mind clean up my soul And I will be filled with blue And I will be taken home The forest is my shelter Height is not a limit I will let it rain over me And I will be whole again Take me home, make me pure So that I can be ok again Sweet and cold, It’s going to the place I belong to Tired, but never again hopeless, I am going to the place I belong to.

1. In one sentence, who are you? 2. In one word, what do you live for? 3. What is worth the pain? 4. What will you never give up on? 5. What do you always try to avoid? 6. What do you take for granted every day? 7. What do you need most right now? 8. What’s the best advice you have ever given to yourself? 9. Happiness is_________? 10. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? 11. What kind of people does the world need more of? 12. What does beautiful look like in the dark? 13. What is the most beautiful thing you’ve seen today? 14. What’s one problem you’re thankful you don’t have? 15. What’s something nobody could ever steal from you? 16. Who would you like to forgive right now? 17. What is the most valuable life lesson you learned from a mistake? 18. Happiness is not__________? 19. Who are you grateful for? 20. What’s something simple that makes you smile 21. What gives you hope? 22. What do you want to remember forev

My nightmares I think they're coming to life Because everything that's happening In front of my eyes Is everything That terrifies me and makes me want to die It is cold inside my head I think I am being poisoned By the death thoughts inside my head Where I began to feel safe The shadows follow me And I know I am at the edge As my vision blurs again I cannot jump I cannot step back I am losing control It happens all the time I am afraid here Take me to darker places Before they come back to me I need to keep on breathing In and out I have who I have become Save me from myself Before I lose control again I am losing the fight once again I don't want to feel like that anymore Tell me I will be okay To wake up to live another day into this No, I don't wanna wake up anymore Take all of this away Bring me back to life I am tired and I need to rest To be able to face another day Take all of this away Please bring me back to life I don't

I walk in silence, stepping on dead leaves and dreams. Everything in deadly quiet – except my heart. It is beating on my ears. The sound is so loud I wonder if anybody else can hear it. But there’s no one else here. I am walking through this sea of trees. It doesn’t matter where I look to – it all seems exactly the same. Once, the forest used to provide me some short of relief, and here, gladly, I feel it as well. I feel protected, I feel powerful, I feel… Free. There are colored ribbons tied in some trees – it’s a trick for the undecided ones, to find their way back through the woods, because somehow, deep into the endless green, they’ve found hope. The trees here have seen so much! If only they could talk… There are stories hanging from the branches, screams held inside the trunks. If only I could unlock all the words stuck on these limbs… If only I could revive all the dreams and hopes that here have faded away… So withered and dead, like the brown leaves. I know I can’t. I

Imprisoned on my mind Hiding behind fake smiles The anguish mocks me As I fall back into the dark I fall deeper and deeper As the sorrow smiles At my failures and thoughts I pray for serenity Anything to set me free To heal my cold body To make my heart beat again But there's nothing, nothing I fall deeper and deeper As sorrow welcomes me once again As I come back to its company A place I never really left I will never leave I am trapped into this vicious circle Doomed, the wind won't whisper for me anymore There is no music or colours here No reason to joy No reason to keep on trying Living Doomed, I cry when I wake up For the sleep in the only place I am really safe Set me free Kill me Set me free.

With knives I am hurting my back And with pens I am writing my sins My pillow blotched with blood I can’t sleep anymore ‘Cause I just close my eyes to face ghosts And open them to see empty spaces With this pen I shut it all off And with this knife I fight until I crash I run, leaving all my fears behind Screaming and shouting, my lungs are aching Against all odds, against burning bridges Climbing bare walls has never been so hard My hands are becoming so weak My legs are breaking And my hurt body is collapsing I wrote these shameful words where none else can see Don’t get sick, your ignorance is blessing The truth won’t set you free I have the weapons they fear But I will keep it all right here, with me All those secrets hidden behind my eyes You will never know who I am and what I have done With slaughtered words And an ink heart.

I salute the misery That mislead my path That took my sanity away That brought darkness to my eyes This tragedy haunts me As loud as my cries There is no help on the way I run and run But always end In the same place Despair screams at me Louder than my cries It holds me I sink fast I am rotting in silence Within my core As I walk blindly Being punished for my sins I am led to a path of no return A street of no comfort, no solace I am left alone To drown in my misery I am going to die here Alone Drowning in my misery.