Quiet is Violent

I stare at the tube in silence. I've been looking at it for a few minutes now and it has been the same thing – red fluids floating in the black tube, but not leaking out of it. I wished I could get closer to take a look, but the heat emanating from it is too strong. I can only observe from a distance. I have the theory that the light in there is somehow linked to the white cable on the floor and goes up to a hole in the wall. I don't know where it goes after the wall; maybe to a gigantic generator or another instrument that might give the things inside the tube life. But well, since I'm pretty sure nothing will happen, I leave the big room that is used for storing all sorts of interesting and weird things. There's something hanging from one of the white walls. I don't know what it is. I used to look at it, but it does not move. I think it is made of silver, but I can't be sure. It is actually a good thing that it does not move because, whenever I look...

Sometimes, laying on the floor in the comfort of my house, when the evening sun starts to disappear into the horizon and the night chill comes to fill the air, I wonder what else is there to be seen. I wonder what is the world like on the other side, with its different people and food and colors. I hear the Lord approaching. It is good when he comes and talks to me. I know he appreciates me and enjoys my presence, but what I really like is when he gives me permission to leave the house. It is when the adventure begin. I run through all the places that are known to me, places I used to visit all the time in the past, and I feel like I own the streets. The wind blows in my face and I feel light and free. Every night, running wildly, there is no better feeling. And there are so many things to see! Even though I go to the same places, I always find something different to appreciate and discover new things. There are mysteries behind every corner and exciting stories in...

I opened my eyes slowly. I tried to breathe and it felt like my lungs were going to collapse. Pain was all over my body and it was impossible to move. I could see I was laying in a room. It was cold, a faint light would come through an opening in the only visible window. I was right in the middle of the little room. On my right side there was a table and a wooden chair. On the far end of the room, to my left, a door. I was having difficulty remembering the last events. I didn’t know how I got there. In my head, everything was messy and there was a fog of doubt covering everything. I closed my eyes and tried to focus. I tried to remember.  I was running through the building on fire. Luna was by my side, making noises that indicated we were didn’t have much time. Everything around us was falling apart, the fire licking and taking over the whole place. Black smoke was covering my view and invading my nostrils, making it hard to breathe. A gigantic wooden door ...

My body is on fire My skin is red and wounded And everyone that tries to approach me Gets burned My mind is out of control It is screaming at me so loud Doesn’t give me a moment of peace I slash myself with a whip In an attempt to take control again In a desperate try To make the thoughts go away But the pain has no effect on my body anymore Nothing is alright Nothing is working anymore I’d do anything to stop feeling the way I do But I guess there is just tragedy in my veins Dark predictions instead of human blood I will never heal I will never be ok again It is getting harder and harder to breathe As the waves of desolation keep crashing around me Please, tie my hands right now Before they get Out of control again My hands are getting Out of control Again.

Sometimes I wonder Just how much could change in only a couple of weeks And how the hell it got to be the way it is now Do you ever think about the times we shared? Looking back on all of those nights I took for granted And all of the memories we didn't share Makes me realize that I only have myself to blame And I'm sorry that I ever made you feel this way (It is my fault you feel this way). I just wish I could make you happy one last time And I can't believe that I ever made you feel this way before (It is my fault you feel this way). I think some words can never be unspoken I guess some wounds were never meant to heal All that is left of us is a broken family and a heart that will not heal I can no longer remember how it feels to hold you in my arms The way it felt when I would have you close to me And I would know that everything was okay As long as your were here with me But you are not here with me And we've both gotten a broken heart I...

I hear the cry Of the black birds in the distance Today it is going to rain Today sad drops will fall Over sad people with broken hearts The clouds are getting darker And thunders are louder The heartless wind blows The sky cries as everybody runs Trying to find a shelter from such odd weather Today it is going to be cold And the noise will be replaced With sweet silence of relief They will notice their eyes Shining brighter than before They will see the bodies collapsing Lying lifeless on the floor As they have already done before The sky's getting darker It is time to go I will gaze back at the clouds And let the torment take me Today an angel is going to die again

I’ve got a different story That has nothing to do what They’ve told you about her. In the end she kills herself And nobody knows why Except from her and myself In the end, she dies Because the voices wouldn’t stop screaming The ghosts wouldn’t stop coming The bad memories made the days unbearable And nightmares made the nights frightful. There is no happy ending And nobody is safe From the thoughts that storm the fragile heads Of people who think they’re in control. Nobody noticed what was happening Nobody remembered what she had gone through She was lost and lonely Afraid of collapsing again So she took some pills Believing they could make her fly They could make her like the moon Shining even in the darkest nights Nightlock! Nightlock! Nightlock! In the end she kills herself And I am the only one who knows why.

My nightmares I think they're coming to life Because everything that's happening In front of my eyes Is everything That terrifies me and makes me want to die It is cold inside my head I think I am being poisoned By the death thoughts inside my head Where I began to feel safe The shadows follow me And I know I am at the edge As my vision blurs again I cannot jump I cannot step back I am losing control It happens all the time I am afraid here Take me to darker places Before they come back to me I need to keep on breathing In and out I have who I have become Save me from myself Before I lose control again I am losing the fight once again I don't want to feel like that anymore Tell me I will be okay To wake up to live another day into this No, I don't wanna wake up anymore Take all of this away Bring me back to life I am tired and I need to rest To be able to face another day Take all of this away Please bring me back to life I don't...

I've been stuck on this place For two long weeks Unable to face the moon There is so much darkness here I write every hour that passes on the walls Staining the bricks with blood From my fingertips Soon this will be over I will not stay in this cage forever When the rain comes again My anger will be released A storm is coming Forget the illusion of safety None is safe There is no escape You’d better run for your life While you can But there is no escape Suffering is your reality And we're all going to die.

Oh, freezing moon Mesmerizing is its Power Glowing bright among the dark And when its energy melts Stars are born. Freezing moon So beautiful, Yet so lonely May this supreme force Blind the weak ones! May you not get caught With hunger May the urge for forever Not enslave you For the goddess above us Keep the brighter stars For the selfish ones.

He can’t be destroyed He isn’t real But he still holds My sleep Every sunrise I wake up among the trees Silence and gray haze surrounding me Golden leaves falling They can hear my cries Flashes of what I’ve been Come burning and crashing Echoing through my head Crimson fading images I can’t close my eyes I will drown in darkness again Lord of Dreams, please leave me alone I will never find peace With you by my side I will not have relief Lord of Thousand Dreams I don’t wanna sleep forever Into sadness and darkness every night Please just let me free I don’t wanna sleep forever.

This life This "golden future" Is nothing but ignorance I don't have a master You are not my leader I am not following you! I am starting a new foundation Out of this prison I am free There's nothing you will carry away You corrupted liar Their eyes shall be open I am cutting off the iron mask Revolution will begin! This monster will rise Under black flags marching, Heading to amazing glory Your power is fading away Listen to the screams of rebels No torment anymore Never regret We will tear it all apart We will take over it tonight We are not following you! Awaken the forsaken Revolution begins.

From the deepest of my mind Buried in dirty on my unconsciousness Once hidden, is coming back. Those memories, the bad dreams Crossing my eyes in flashing burning lights Rising, rising, Crimson-blood and sharp Growing stronger and cutting the edges. I thought they were gone I thought they were chained Caged on the bottom of my soul Lying sleepy and harmless in my core. But oh God, they are coming I feel the pressure once again My body will collapse, my brain will explode I don't want it to take over me again But it's a monster and I am fighting alone Screaming for help, I am powerless They only see what they want to see By the time they realize what was wrong It will be too late.

"Take another breath, it's all over Why can't you just accept It's all in your head?" It's all in my head... So can you please come over And open up this head Tear apart my brain And paint the walls in red In order to make these thoughts go away? 'Cause they won't leave me They won't leave me and I am being carried away On the outside I laugh But inside I am screaming The wounds might be healing But dear, I am still bleeding! Regrets come to haunt me at night Waves of desolation crashing around me Swallowing me, tides taking me away How long can I last? How many days still left? If I don't make it out alive If I don't make it through the night Maybe you will realize I was not ok And maybe you will remember I told you I was sick.

Hey, little child I just wanted to say That I am leaving tonight So good-bye! There is nothing you can do To make me breathe the way I did It’s all over and I am leaving tonight I smile, this is farewell Singing a soft song That soon you will sing too I am sorry for the storm All I wanted was a little rain To wash away the memories To take me away I fear no more Because I don’t belong in here, And I am leaving Born to fly high To run free I was born to fly high, To beat the speed of sound If I keep on flying faster And higher and higher I might be able to disappear Higher and higher Reaching the deep dark sky.

You accept the storm Even though it destroys What you have created You accept the seasons Even though you hate summer And winter is freezing You accept the blaze You watch as it licks and devours everything You accept the night With its darkness, monsters and fears You accept the ocean With its mystery and dark-blue deepness You accept to lay down and sleep Even though you wake up and realize your dreams are gone and reality smacks you in the face So why, in the name of God, Can't you accept my sadness, coldness and scary-deep thoughts? Why can't you love my messy soul and loneliness The same way you love and admire Other ways of disasters and destruction?

Hey Father! Do you still remember me? Do you remember when You told me nothing lasts forever? Remember when you taught me about strength and courage? Remember when you held my hand and promised I'd never be alone? You looked into my eyes and said You would always be with me. Well, I'm here to remind you of all those broken promises Because, well, I am alone now. I am all by myself and can't take this any longer When you left, when they laid you there Your bed seemed so comfortable... A place of relief for tired souls A place of no pain, no suffering. Father, would you mind if I joined you a little earlier? I will go for you and we will be together And you will mend the promises And I will forgive you for leaving Make room for me, I am going to get there soon Daddy, I will be with you and You will never leave me again.

I've tried for so much time To suppress these feelings This sense that is not human So blinded, so helpless I though this loneliness would disappear The emptiness would be filled Hate would turn into love. I was trying to hide the pain and the despair behind smiles and laughs You believed in me, But I am broken Always swallowing tears to look strong Bottling everything up in an endless pit My weakness has made it overflow It's overflowing... The hole was not deep enough And now I will drown On tears never cried On words never said On forgotten plans On smashed dreams There's no escape - I I can't run away All these things being hidden for so long Now unable to disappear and leave me alone It might be too late now I must be already dead now.

“Monster” That’s what I heard “… Monster” That’s what she whispered And these words got stuck On the back of my head For weeks I couldn’t understand That made no sense Damn, I couldn’t help her! And now it’s too late She’s gone, she left me and she tried to Make me see How could I left her like this? How did I allow her to be taken away without even making any efforts for her to stay? Now I am here alone, Buried and breathing in regret I now understand her words I now keep her last attempt, her scream for help It keeps yelling at me Reminding me how guilty I really am For the words she said I was unable to understand “Inside of me, there is this monster. Help me. Take away this monster.” The monster is now gone And so is she.

I need to get out of This body So weak, full of fears and emotion Sensitive body This is not a machine This is flesh, so weak... And there is this part called "heart" What is it good for? Meant to be broken Beating in despair Can hold so much pain, so much anger This is terrible! I need to get out of here I am trying to escape There must be an exit There is something crawling in my skin That seems to be cracking And this face looks so pale Like this body is about to faint They saw red lines around my neck Scars and cuts on my wrists They judged me, but cannot understand Cutting deeper, wide open, Is the only way out Is how I can escape to be free. I need to break free Human skin Is hard to live in.